So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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