The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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