i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
