if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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