At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize