I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
