So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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