I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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