also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
