K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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