What did we do last night that was yellow?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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