Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
