uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
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It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
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what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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