recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
