He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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