glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
