You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
