Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Four minutes until I can fart!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We are all done wearing pants today
I have already put on my inside pants.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
