This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
