I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
