I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
