dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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