we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
