Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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