You're so nebulous sometimes
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
