she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
