i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
