Nicole vs. Life
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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