'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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