Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
