i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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