i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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