I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
