If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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