Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
