3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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