Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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