Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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