from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have aggressive nipples.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
