Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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