Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
