my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is Oprah even human
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize