there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
