Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
