He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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