I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
