for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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