I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize