If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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