What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
