Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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