You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize