i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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