maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
