im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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