So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
