Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
