help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
