Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
