Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
