I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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