I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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